


Marks Left in the Snow

by turtlelino



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Christmas, F/F, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-01 16:32:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtlelino/pseuds/turtlelino
Summary: Hyejoo never expected to see her again, yet here she was, standing in front of her. Her old highschool girlfriend.She was Hyejoo’s first love. She was Hyejoo’s first everything, to be honest. Hyejoo had experienced so many new things with her, both physical and emotional. She had her first adventure with her, her first time getting lost, her first kiss under the stars, her first performance on stage, her first holiday outside of home, her first extreme feeling of joy—the one where she felt she could say she was actually in love with someone. And of course, her first heartbreak.





	Marks Left in the Snow

“Hyejoo! Coffee for Hyejoo!”

Hyejoo walked up to the counter and claimed her coffee. She could feel the warm, soothing air drift upwards before taking a sip. The toasty, cinnamon flavored drink went through her throat and past her chest, before settling in her stomach. She let out a soft sigh before exiting the cafe.

She was soon greeted by the cold, frosty air. Snow covered the area. Children were playing across the streets, making snowmen and having snowball fights. Others were with their family and their loved ones, busy enjoying the holidays.

Hyejoo smiled at the happy sight. She would be able to enjoy her vacation too, as she had just finished her project for the day. She had the rest of the afternoon to relax.

She made her way through the streets, heading for a nice place to rest. She would be staying in the country until the New Year's and wanted to get acquainted with it. She figured a park would be a start.

So she searched her phone for the nearest one and headed there, coffee in her hand. She was too busy staring at the screen that she didn't notice the woman in front of her and had bumped into her. The coffee went flying and a bit spilled on her clothes. The woman panicked at the sight and immediately began to apologize.

“Oh my god! I-I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there. Oh, some spilled on your coat. What should I do?”

The woman, clearly nervous, trifled through her bag, looking for something to clean up the mess. But Hyejoo couldn't care less about the spill or the coffee. She was too busy staring at the woman.

Hyejoo never thought she would see her again, but here she was, standing in front of her, wearing a fake gray fur coat and earmuffs. Her old highschool girlfriend.

She was Hyejoo’s first love. She was Hyejoo’s first everything, to be honest. Hyejoo had experienced so many new things with her, both physical and emotional. She had her first adventure with her, her first time getting lost, her first kiss under the stars, her first performance on stage, her first holiday outside of home, her first extreme feeling of joy—the one where she felt she could say she was actually in love with someone. And of course, her first heartbreak.

The two of them had broken up senior year. Well, broke up was a bit of a stretch. They had a huge fight that resulted in them not talking for a week. Soon, they stopped talking at all. Chaewon then left town, and with her went Hyejoo's last hope of getting back together.

The next Hyejoo heard of her, she already had another girlfriend. One who was tinier, cuter, and more cheerful than she was. Hyejoo thought maybe that was for the best, that was what Chae needed in her life, someone who would take care of her and not let things go bad between them like she did.

But never mind that. It had been years ago and Hyejoo was over it. At least, until she saw her again. The unexpected reunion had jostled things inside of her, dug up repressed memories, forcing her to relive that awful experience. Hyejoo knew she had already made peace with it, so why was she feeling sad again?

“H-hey.” She didn't know what to say, how to make things casual between people who parted not so casually, how to not let it show that she was slowly crumbling inside and it was the other's fault. So she settled for something short, something that wouldn't give her away, something that wouldn't let her show what she was thinking.

She stared at the woman in front of her, noticing how she had changed. Her straight, black hair now blonde and frizzing in the cold. Her face more mature, but still retaining her youthful, childlike appearance. Her voice when she spoke more calm, more mellow, more sure of itself. “Hey,” the voice said back to her. It was soft and quiet, as if mirroring Hyejoo’s own feelings.

Chaewon stopped rummaging through her bag when she heard her voice. She knew it was familiar but couldn't believe it when she saw who it was. She hadn’t expect to see Hyejoo either. 

She thought she would never see her again when she left town. She accepted that she and Hyejoo would never talk again and forced herself to move on. Soon, she and her family transferred to a new town and a new school.

She quickly became friends with someone upon entering her new school, a red-brown haired girl named Jiwoo. She was nice to her, made her feel loved, feel treasured and cared for again. Chaewon soon started developing feelings. And lucky for her, it was reciprocated. The two went out but Chaewon felt that something was missing, it wasn't like her and Hyejoo's relationship at all. She knew she shouldn't be comparing her relationships but she just felt empty inside, like something vital was missing. 

She eventually found out what it was. Love. Don't get her wrong. She loved Jiwoo, loved her so much it hurt. But she only loved her as a friend. The romantic feelings she thought she felt for her were a product of her loneliness. She craved that feeling Jiwoo gave her, the feeling of being cared for. Craved it like a convict craved freedom, like a man trapped in a desert craved water. Because that's what she was. Deprived of the most basic human emotion. So she sought after the first thing that gave it to her and that was Jiwoo.

She knew she shouldn't have a relationship based on that, and so she broke up with her the day after. Jiwoo understood, she always did. She instantly forgave Chaewon and wished her the best. They were still friends after that, but their relationship had been marred, forever having the scar of a different kind of unrequited love.

They moved on to college, they attended the same one, and Chaewon found out Jiwoo got herself another girlfriend, an upperclassman who modeled part time. That was when Jiwoo looked truly happy, far happier than when the two of them were together, and Chaewon was truly happy for her. Happy that her best friend had found hope and happiness in another. Their friendship got better after that, but it still wasn't quite the same as before. Chaewon figured she'd take what she can get, after all, it was her fault in the first place.

Soon, they graduated and went on with their lives. She and Jiwoo, and her now fiancee, still kept in touch, but Chaewon preferred living on her own, living without attachment from people she would eventually leave behind. She travelled to different countries, searching for something, something to make her realize she’s going in the right path. And that’s how she wound up here, in the middle of the snow, face-to-face with her first love.

The two of them stared back at each other, not knowing what to say or what to do. Chaewon heard the other take a deep breath before asking, “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’m-I'm fine.” Hyejoo's sure voice helped calmed Chaewon down. “What about you?”

“I'm fine too.”

A beat passed, things still awkward between them. They stared at random spaces, trying to avoid the other's eyes.

But Chaewon saw the stain on Hyejoo's coat and guilt took over. “Your coat, I'm really sorry about it.”

Hyejoo looked down and saw the dark, brown stain creeping over the beige material. She still had plans for the rest of the day and wearing the coat would be unsightly, but she couldn't blame the woman for a simple accident. 

“It's fine. Don't worry about it.”

“No, no. It's all my fault.” Chaewon knew she should think about her words before saying them, but this was Hyejoo. And Hyejoo made her stop thinking at all. “I-if you're not busy, I know a place that can clean it in a few hours. It's cheap too, since I'm a regular there.”

“I'm not.” Chaewon looked up, confused. “Not busy, I mean. If you could, please, take me there.”

Chaewon let out a little smile, “Okay.”

The two of them walked side by side to the laundromat. Things were quiet between them, but it didn't hold the awkward air from before. Instead, it was peaceful.

When they arrived, the clerk told them it would take two hours.

The two left the store and Hyejoo turned to Chaewon, “So, what do you want to do for the next two hours?”

Chaewon stared back at Hyejoo, surprised that the other still wanted to spend time with her. She noticed her shivering, now that she was exposed to the cold, winter air. “We can go back to my place,” Chaewon suggested, “It's only a ten minute walk from here.”

Hyejoo agreed and the two made their way. Chaewon lived in an apartment building. She revealed she’d been staying there for about six months, travelling from one tourist spot to another. She worked as a journalist, with a travel vlog as her main source of income. Her viewers had enjoyed her enthusiasm and her unique way of describing things.

“What about you?” Chaewon said, putting a cup of hot chocolate in front of Hyejoo and sitting down beside her on the couch, “What do you do nowadays?”

Hyejoo took a sip of hot chocolate, the drink warming up her body. “I do freelance photography. I'm actually here on a job; just finished it this morning.”

“Oh yeah, I remember you liked looking at the photographs whenever we went to the museum,” Chaewon smiled before shaking her head. No use getting caught up in nostalgic memories, she reminded herself. “Can I take a look?”

“Oh sure,” Hyejoo took out her camera from her bag and looked through the photos she took. She moved closer, giving her camera to the other. 

Chaewon blushed at the sudden contact. She could feel Hyejoo’s leg brushing against hers, how her body moved a little bit closer every time she explained a photo. Most of all, she could feel the other's breath so close to her face. She didn't know if the warmth on her face was from Hyejoo's breath or her blushing.

She remembered how Hyejoo would ramble about the paintings and the photos in the museum, she'd talk about the history behind it and the methods used in creating it, what the artist probably wanted to convey.

She could barely focus on what Hyejoo was saying right now, but she managed. She pushed down her old feelings, reminding herself that what they had was gone. That she needed to move on.

“You really put a lot of thought into your photos. There's meaning behind every detail, it's amazing.  _ You're _ amazing.”

“Thanks,” Hyejoo felt pride fill her chest. Hearing Chaewon say that gave her renewed vigor, but it also made her feel slightly embarrassed. Diverting the attention, she asked, “What about you? Have you made a video lately?”

“I have,” she said, as she went to get her laptop. She opened her recent draft and faced it towards Hyejoo. “I’m still not done editing, but it's about this shopping district I went to. It's full of clothing and makeup stores, with some restaurants here and there.”

Hyejoo listened as Chaewon talked about her trip, noticing how her voice gets louder and her face gets brighter when talking about the shops she liked the most. Chaewon had this habit years ago of using made up words to describe things, and it seemed like it hadn't changed. Hyejoo was glad Chaewon still remained her cheerful self.

By the time they finished talking, it was time to pick up Hyejoo's coat. They went back to the laundromat and her coat was as good as new.

“It was nice catching up with you,” Chaewon told her. Although she seemed happy about it, she looked like she had something on her mind. She opened her mouth to say something when a growl interrupted her.

Chaewon flushed red, embarrassed that her stomach let out such a loud growl. Hyejoo, on the other hand, found it extremely funny and made sure to let Chaewon know.

“Stop laughing!”

When Hyejoo didn't, Chaewon started hitting her on her arm. “Ow, ow, ow! Ok, I'll stop, I'll stop.” Hyejoo tried collecting herself, with Chaewon still frowning at her. “I'm sorry. It's just—you haven't changed at all.”

Hyejoo had an affectionate smile on her face that left Chaewon blushing even harder. She could only hope that the other would think it's from the cold.

“Anyway,” Hyejoo said, “I know this great place nearby where we could eat. Wanna come?”

Chaewon smiled and nodded and the two walked side by side.

“You'll like it there, they have spicy rice cakes.” Chaewon loved spicy rice cakes back then. So much so that Hyejoo would even bring her some everyday. Hyejoo smiled at the memory, how Chaewon would give the biggest smile when eating the rice cakes.

When they arrived, they immediately ordered their dinners. Although they both ordered the local cuisine, they couldn't help but to order some Korean dishes as well. 

“So,” Chaewon said once she finished her meal, setting down her chopsticks on her plate, “Aside from work, what will you do here?”

“I was actually thinking of doing some sightseeing. I'm still staying here for another week.”

“How about I tour you around? At least the areas near here,” Chaewon offered.

Hyejoo gave a wide smile. She was glad she didn't have to wander around like a lost puppy, and that she had someone to keep her company. “If you don't mind.”

“Of course not!” Chaewon's eyes lit up. She began planning where to bring Hyejoo, thinking of all the things they could do in a week. “Come on, we'll go once you're done eating.”

“Don't rush me! I'm savoring it.”

“But you're so slow! Here, I'll help you.” Chaewon took hold of her chopsticks and began picking at Hyejoo's side dishes.

Hyejoo frowned at her steadily decreasing food, but she knew she couldn't be upset at her. “Fine, but only because you're cute.”

When they finished, Chaewon brought Hyejoo to all her favorite places in town. They went to a museum and looked at the local art. She also brought Hyejoo to a nearby mall where they bought new clothes. They even went to a costume store and bought matching Santa hats.

They were currently at the park, taking a stroll and watching people play around. Some were still playing in the snow, but the people skating on the frozen lake caught Hyejoo's eye. They stood on the bridge, watching people skate. They'd skate one day too, Chaewon had told her, they need only set a date.

Afterwards, Chaewon brought her to a plaza. “I heard something special was gonna take place at midnight,” she said.

They arrived to see a large crowd gathered around a giant pine tree. The tree was adorned with numerous decorations, from gingerbread men to colorful balls, with a star hanging on top. A few minutes to midnight left, a person appeared, thanking everyone who came. He then ended his speech by counting down from ten, the people joining him.

At the stroke of midnight, the venue lit up, several Christmas lights and parols scattered everywhere. The star on the tree shone the brightest, illuminating everything and everyone. People greeted “Merry Christmas” from their lefts and rights. 

Chaewon and Hyejoo looked with wide, enamored eyes at the scene. Both were enchanted by the lights and the decorations.

“Today was really fun,” Hyejoo said, turning to Chaewon, “I'm glad I got to spend it with you.”

“Same here,” Chaewon said, a soft smile on her face.

“You know, Hyejoo” she continued, “I actually, I actually never stopped loving you. All those years ago, I'm sorry. I really regret what had happened.”

“Chae, I don't even remember what we fought about,” Hyejoo said, “Maybe, maybe we can start again?” Hyejoo stared at her, a hopeful look in her eyes.

Chaewon let out a laugh, her worries going away with it. “I'd like that.”

They leaned into one another, bathed in all the lights. They shared a long kiss, one that talked for them, telling each other how they felt, revealing all the love and affection they held in all those years for one another.

Hyejoo pulled away, her hand still on Chaewon's face. She set her forehead on the other’s and whispered so quietly, “Merry Christmas.”


End file.
